Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings about Love about schook tumblr about girls Images: December 2013

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Funny Movie Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

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   “There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other
      people's cultures and the Dutch.”
      Goldmember (2002) – Nigel Powers (Michael Caine)

2.   “I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults
      that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?”
      The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

3.   “I'm a mog - half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.”
      Spaceballs (1987) – Barf (John Candy)

4.   “I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I
      remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese
      sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say...”Hey! Look at
      these!"”
      The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear (1991) – Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)

5.   “We Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The
      only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that's coming
      quickly.” 
      History of the World Part I (1981) – Comicus (Mel Brooks)

6.   “Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Caribbean cruise, where we can hold
      hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old
      Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.” 
      Brain Donors (1992) – Roland T. Flakfizer (John Turturro)

7.   “I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty
      parts.” 
      Bananas (1971) – Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen)

8.   “Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The
      winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of
      beef.’” 
      Meatballs (1979) – Tripper (Bill Murray)

9.   “There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your
      flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?” 
      Airplane (1980) – Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty)

10. “Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.” 
      Basic Instinct 2 (2006) – Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone)

11. “Time wounds all heels.” 
      Go West (1940) – S. Quentin Quale (Groucho Marx)

12. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.” 
      What About Bob? (1991) – Bob Wiley (Bill Murray)

13. “For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let's be co-people.”
      Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)

14. “I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of
      elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time." 
      Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) – French Soldier (John Cleese)

15. “What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let’s get the flock out of here.”
      Lethal Weapon (1987) – Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson)

16. “God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at
      cocktail parties.” 
      Hackers (1995) – Kate Libby (Angelina Jolie)

17. “The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.” 
      Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) – Cliff Stern (Woody Allen)

18. “Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or
      something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.” 
      Dumb and Dumber (1994) – Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels)

19. “I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my
      socks.” 
      A Night at the Opera (1935) – Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)

20. “I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.” 
      Mean Girls (2004) – Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried)

21. “Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.”
      Steel Magnolias (1989) – Truvy (Dolly Parton)

22. “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” 
      Animal House (1978) – Dean Wormer (John Vernon)

23. "A jester unemployed is nobody's fool." 
      The Court Jester (1955) - Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye)

24. “Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.” 
      The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) – Ford Fairlane (Andrew Dice Clay)

25. “Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.”      City Slickers (1991) - Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal)

Funny Movie Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

Short Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

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Perhaps the only type of quote better than a wise quote is a quote that, while conveying some universal truth, is also witty. If you’re in need of a good laugh — and really, who isn’t? — then check out our list of the top 100 funny quotes of all-time. Funny quotes are also good for making other people laugh; posting one of these quotes on Facebook or Twitter is sure to elicit many chuckles from your friends and followers. There’s a funny quote here for everybody: this list has everything from ironic statements and macabre jokes to bathroom humor. Also included are interpretations, which attempt to explain just what makes each quote so darn funny– the interpretations also come in handy for that one clueless person who always says, “I don’t get it” in response to your hilarious joke. (Don’t worry, this list has funny quotes about those types of people as well.)
Interpretation: Most people are aware that the planet Saturn is surrounded by rings (you may or may not know that these rings are composed of ice and rocky material). Most people also know that airline luggage often gets lost. While the rings of Saturn are of course not literally composed of lost luggage, this quote is humorous because it makes fun of a frustrating experience many people can relate to — the airline losing your luggage.
Interpretation: Taking a metaphor or analogy seriously — in this case, thinking a motivational statement like “finish what you start” applies to eating junk food — makes for a classic joke. This quote also makes fun of the vague and sometimes impractical advice one might receive from a therapist.

Short Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Funny Motivational Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

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Let these Funny Motivational Quotes lighten your spirits while they convey important messages about life.

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
- John Wooden

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't underestimate your abilities, that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-Erica Jong

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas.
You're up, you're down, but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
- Dwight Eisenhower

Funny Motivational Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

Funny Inspirational QuotesAbout Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

Funny Inspirational Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

link source by google.com.pk

"Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil' devil."

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Boys make good pets!

Princess in training!

At least I can still smoke in my car

Caution, Blind Man Driving.

"Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make."

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

"To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail."-Michael Jordan

"No BLOOD no foul."

"Life's an Ocean, Sail It"

"We are going to rip off your testicles.......and slash your tires." - Nip

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The problem with the Gene pool is there arn't any lifeguards (hillbillies)

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The only reason I am always listening to music is to drownd out the sound of your voice!~

Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.

"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."

"don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"

If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough

Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

"Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because everytime i fall in love.....it never seems to last

Silence is silver, but music is gold...

Lifes Tough, get a helmet!

loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty!

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

Constipated People Don't Give A crap.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off.

Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit.

You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Ax Me About Ebonics.

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.

Boldly Going Nowhere.

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE.

All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.

"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

"i'm not tailgating, i'm keeping up with the pace car"

Roadhead cures Roadrage...

Tell your girlfriend I said thanks

" WARNING: in case of rapture, this car will be driverless. "

normal people worry me

you say physco like it's a bad thing

those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.

Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas.

"Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you ever." ~ Holly Marie Combs

don't regret doing things, regret getting caught

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all

"my tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me."

"it takes a player to shoot a shot.. but it takes a team to win a game " - penny anae

everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE

Anger is one letter short of danger.

One death is one too many.

Life's not all bad. Look into somebody's eyes, you'll see that they're a person just like you, they also have good and bad feelings, hopes and dreams.

If you love somebody, they shouldn't make you cry, they should be worth crying over.

Lots of things change...lots of them don't...but the fact that I love you...that will always stay the same.

"I'm going to live life or die trying"

im sugar and spice and everything nice if u wanna mess with me u better think twice

"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams."

"We didn’t lose.....we just ran out of time"~unknown

"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."--Homer J. Simpson

If you die, I'll kill you!"

There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day.

Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

"Find a guy that adores you and not one that you adore!!" MOM

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Trust your instincts and listen to your friends, because they may be right when you don't want them to be

"Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

"Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.".

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?.

"When you pee in a toilet, you wipe the seat; when you pee in the woods, you wipe your feet!".
Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

" Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information".

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer J. Simpson.

"Is tuna really Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson, after reading "Tuna, Chicken of the sea"

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous

"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"

Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle."

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown

"I'll kill you until you die!!"

"They misunderestimated me!" -George W. Bush"

"I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!"

"Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

"The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus"

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"

"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"

"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome

The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps

Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them

"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"

I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!

"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!

For you are crunchy
And taste good with ketchup

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and
say bite me in a bitchy tone!

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

Beware of programmers who carry screwdriver

OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Funny Inspirational Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About Schook Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers About Life Lessons For Kids

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life About Friends And Sayings about Love about schook tumblr about girls wallpapers about life lessons for kids

Funny Quotes and Sayings Definition

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I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous Share 260 Dislike 1306 Like Photo, Know I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous Share 144 Dislike 706 Like Photo If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous Share 154 Dislike 737 Like The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous Share 291 Dislike 1333 Like Photo, Man Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Albert King Share 508 Dislike 2195 Like Short Quotes Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. P.D. East Share 233 Dislike 1038 Like Short Quotes, Photo, Love You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry Share 168 Dislike 762 Like Short Quotes, Photo The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Share 163 Dislike 726 Like Short Quotes You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous Share 76 Dislike 367 Like Know Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous Share -

Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life About Friends And Sayings about Love about schook tumblr about girls wallpapers about life lessons for kids

Funny Quotes and SayingsAbout Life About Friends And Sayings about Love about schook tumblr about girls wallpapers about life lessons for kids

Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life About Friends And Sayings about Love about schook tumblr about girls wallpapers about life lessons for kids